Mopeds

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here is much to admire about the moped or scooter. They’re powered by small engines, some of which even have a catalytic converter, which are economical. Most have an automatic gearbox and provision for luggage in a lockable box (or you can add a lockable box, but these are often quite expensive). Modern mopeds have decent lights and brakes. But all of these vehicles involve a certain amount of exposure to the elements - and this means that the rider and his or her passenger are potentially vulnerable.

So why are they such loons on the roads?

Hands up who’s seen the advert advising motorists and mopeds to look out for one another - “Now you see him.” This, just like the “if this car was travelling at 30 mph it would have stopped here,” is flawed. First off, mopeds don’t tend to tailgate cars. They overtake. Second, although prone to acts of stupidity, most moped riders know what an indicator is and don’t overtake a vehicle turning right.

There are some moped riders who manage a good blend between being timid and being overly aggressive. Those riders that are too timid ride along the gutter at 30 mph, encouraging cars to overtake them - and sadly most Muppet car drivers will overtake in a stupid place, especially something that’s they perceive will slow them down.

The overly aggressive moped rider hoons along the middle of his lane at 35 mph indicated, weaving in and out of cars that are cruising at 30, screams up to a red light then stops over the line, roars off as soon as the traffic light is thinking about going to amber, and flips anybody off who objects. The more adventurous moped rider pulls a moonie rather than a simply flip-off gesture.

Dealing with Aggressive Moped Riders

When threatened by a car driver, moped riders will almost certainly run away - I know I would. But you really don’t want to go threatening moped riders when driving along, since they have a nasty habit of falling off and sometimes getting stuck between your tyre and wheelarch. Or they may even return in force, since some hunt in packs.

So what do I suggest? Avoid conflict, no matter how much of an idiot the moped rider is being by weaving in and out of traffic - and hope that if he or she comes off, it’s under somebody elses’ wheels.

Or buy your own moped, of course...

Or leave the city behind, since few moped riders leave the city.